fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
