ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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