i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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