Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
