I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
