I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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