Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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