whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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