So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
