Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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