im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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