week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
