you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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