oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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