Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
