So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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