Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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