She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
