i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
