you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Randomize
