How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
