Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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