1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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