umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
