He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
