My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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