You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize