Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize