When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
