Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
