Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.