when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
