tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"