One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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