i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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