Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
