I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
