Your face is a jimmy john
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED