how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
