You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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