I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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