so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
