i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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