this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
