she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
