her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
