We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
