Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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