Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
