I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
