it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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