in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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