What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
