i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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