Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
